With a ‘good enough’ attachment to the caregiver, children will grow up feeling worthy of love, confident, resilient, and able to cope when things go wrong.

Under less fortunate circumstances, when the caregiver was abusive, narcissistic, neglectful, an addict, depressed or unavailable due to, for example, illness the bonding is impaired and the child may grow up unable to regulate overwhelming emotions, set appropriate boundaries, or may feel a deep sense of shame, anxiety and/or depression and they might find it difficult to form healthy relationships.

As an adult, the person often feels that something is ‘wrong’, even if to an onlooker their life might seem ‘perfect’.